Not A Day Too Soon
by adorkableisme
Summary: If Derek had met Meredith before he married Addison, and before he was even engaged to her, it would have changed everything.
1. Chapter One: Life Happens

**Author: **adorkableisme  
**Rating: **M  
**Parings: **MD, with some initial Addek.  
**Summary: **If Derek had met Meredith before he married Addison, and before he was even engaged to her, it would have changed everything.  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own Grey's Anatomy, all rights belong to ABC and Shonda Rhimes.

**_AN - Back with a new story, I just couldn't get this idea out of my head, No Obligation is on hiatus, but Tears and Rain is still going on, I have the current chapter sitting on my computer but I'm just reworking the timeline of the story at the moment._  
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**_Now I had a bit of trouble naming this story so I went through my itunes to find a song that fit, I was first going to call it "Calling Me" and inspired by Alva Leigh's song. But I ended up falling onto Sia's "Day Too Soon" and it was just perfect, if you haven't heard it before you should listen to it, Sia is amazing.  
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**_I'd like to warn you all, I am not a nurse or a doctor so my medical knowledge is based on GA and when I do randomly look things up, so please don't be critical, I try to be as authentic as I possibly can be. I also stole the voice of this chapter from the show, I thought it did a few things: introduced Meredith for who she is, tied into some of the subject matter of the chapter and it plays a nice resonance to the theme of the story. I normally try to write the voiceoevers myself but I really loved this one so yes, I stole, all credit to the writers of GA for it, mwah excellent job.  
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**_Now, as you can see this AN is very extensive, feel free to skip past it, but it just shows how much I really thought this through and I think its interesting, so read it you may find it interesting too. But if you really just want to get into the story, I won't hold it against you. ;)  
_**

_**So this story started out of a pretty accurate musing: if Meredith had met Derek before he had married Addison, it definitely would have put a spanner in the works of Derek and Addison. Pretty accurate right, so naturally an idea hit me but before I pursued it I wanted to be sure if it was entirely possibly age wise for them to have met.**_

_**So the basis of this story has been born out of a series hypothesis that are of an "educated-guess" matter. So let's start with Derek:**_

_**I always got the impression that when Derek came to Seattle in Season One he was an up and coming Neuro Surgeon, meaning that he probably had only been an attending for no more than five years. This is slightly proved in two scenes. First scene is on the "Anatomy of a Pilot" which is a DVD extra where Richard and Derek have a conversation about the size of his office etc etc, Richard gives the distinct impression that Derek was someone who had a lot of potential but hadn't quite made it yet, so to speak. The second scene is in 1x09 when the chief asks Derek to remove his tumor, and he basically says, "Let's see what you're actually made of." So for my time line I base that when Derek meets Meredith in Grey's he has been an attending for five years, so count back 11 years (for how long he was married to Addison) and that roughly suggests that Derek married Addison in his first year as an intern. This was slightly cemented by something I read on a Grey's Anatomy Wiki that Derek had married his long-time Med School Girlfriend, which suggests that he married Addison just before they started their internship or during it or after it. For my timeline, if the marriage were to happen I am going for at the end of the intern year, much like Cristina and Burke.**_

_**Now onto Meredith:**_

_**I always got the distinct impression that Meredith was older than her fellow residents and more than likely took time off at some point. This coincides with Meredith's history. We know that Ellis got diagnosed with Alzheimer's between College and Med School and I assume just based off Meredith's character and interaction with Ellis in the past that Ellis's negative opinion of Meredith ultimately made Meredith really doubt herself and contributed to her lack of decisiveness when trying to figure out what she wanted out of life and would have caused the gaps between school. I also believe that Ellis ultimately influenced where Meredith went to college and Med School, it really seems that Meredith just always gave into her mother. So I have determined that Meredith would have taken at least three years off at some point in order for it to coincide with the GA timeline.**_

_**So, after working out that it truly is theoretically possible I then asked myself this question: "If Meredith tended to give into her mother and her opinions and decisions, how on earth would she plausibly end up in New York?"**_

_**Good question, and then I thought this: "If Meredith had became determined to not let her mother's negative opinion of her rule her life, how would that change things?" And we now have a driving force of plausibility. I ultimately believe that if Meredith had not let her mother get to her she never would have taken time off and she'd probably be in her fourth year of residency when she first meets Derek in the current GA timeline. Nothing would have shaken her resolve; she would have still looked after Ellis, but without taking time off.**_

_**So, based upon my calculations Meredith is 19 and Derek is 27, which is all you need to know for now. So, now that I have the timeline of plausibility down, and possibly bored you all in the process, I can have my way with the characters…so to speak!**_

* * *

**Chapter One  
**_Life Happens_

"_In the eighth grade, my English class had to read Romeo and Juliet. Then, for extra credit, Mrs. Snyder made us act out all the parts. Sal Scafarillo was Romeo. As fate would have it, I was Juliet. All the other girls were jealous. But I had a slightly different take."_

"_I told Mrs. Snyder that Juliet was an idiot. For starters, she falls for the one guy she knows she can't have. Then she blames fate for her own bad decision. Mrs. Snyder explained to me that when fate comes into play, choice sometimes goes out the window."_

"_At the ripe old age of 13, I was very clear, that love, like life, is about making choices. And fate has nothing to do with it. Everyone thinks it's so romantic. Romeo and Juliet. True love. How sad. If Juliet was stupid enough to fall for the enemy, drink a bottle of poison, and go to sleep in a mausoleum… she deserved whatever she got." _

Meredith meekly stared up at the cemented walls of the tall hospital building. People bustled by her, either heading into the hospital or out. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't intimidated by the large building before her, she was nineteen, in a new city, alone. Alone was a concept she was familiar with, her life has been all about _alone_. This however, was a new level of alone, but she wasn't afraid of it, she was excited. She was only intimidated by the life before her, because she was just waiting for the other shoe to finally drop.

She took a deep breath and moved forward, reaching out to open the glass door of the hospital's front entrance. She entered the building, her eyes searching out the help desk and upon spotting it she quickly moved forward toward it, finding herself now anxious to get started. She approached the nurse behind the desk, who looked up at her and smiled briefly, her face showing evident tiredness from a long shift. It's true what they say, that behind every physician is a tired and frantic nurse.

"Hi, welcome to NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital, is there anything I can help you with?" The tired blonde-haired nurse greeted her kindly.

"Ah, yes. I'm looking for Nurse Lauren Wells, I'm the new LPN and I start today." Meredith replied, as she adjusted the bag on her shoulder. She nodded, as she walked out from behind the counter and held her hand out to Meredith for her to shake.

"It's nice to meet you Meredith, I've been expecting you. I'm Lauren." She said, smiling good-naturedly, but Meredith could tell she was scrutinizing her, obviously thinking that Meredith was awfully young.

"Oh, hi." Meredith replied, shaking her hand.

"So, the Chief mentioned you were young, but he didn't mention _how_ young, you can't be any older than twenty." Lauren stated casually as she gestured for Meredith to follow her.

"Actually, I'm nineteen." Meredith offered, a little awkwardly, hoping that people wouldn't judge her as incompetent just based on her age.

"Nineteen, you must be close to twenty then, it takes a year to get a LPN." Lauren replied, a frown crossing her face.

"My high school had a LPN program so I did it during my senior year and took the test as soon as I was eighteen." Meredith explained, her voice slightly defensive.

"Oh, I've heard of that, you must be keen to become a RN then." Lauren chuckled.

"Actually, no." Meredith replied as Lauren led then into what appeared to be the nurse's locker room.

"No?" Lauren asked, now confused as she turned around to face her.

"I'm studying to be a Doctor, and I just fought…you know it would be beneficial to work in the same arena…for experience and such." Meredith explained, finding herself rambling a little.

"Oh, well a lot of Nurses do the same thing while they are studying for their RN, so makes sense. What field are you thinking of going in?" Lauren replied, nodding in understanding.

"Surgery." Meredith answered automatically.

"Nice." Lauren offered. "Ok, so this is the locker room, yours is the one on the end, and this is your combination. There are scrubs in your locker, get dressed and I will take you for a tour and show you the ropes." Meredith nodded and moved to her locker, she quickly opened it and grabbed her light green scrubs out and went to the bathroom to change. She stripped quickly, and pulled the scrubs on, she exited and threw her clothes and belongings in her new locker. She then pulled her golden hair into a ponytail and turned to face Lauren, waiting for further instruction. "Ok, so I am the Charge Nurse, which means for all intents and purposes I am your immediate boss, I am in charge of all the nurses within the surgery department of this hospital. I basically have one rule, if you do your job quickly, efficiently and at a high standard, we will get on fabulously. However do the opposite and you will get to meet my nasty side, and believe me, I actually have one, and lets just say, she's no ray of sunshine." Lauren quickly explained, her southern accent accentuating the more she spoke, as she picked up a clipboard from the nurses station and nodded to several of the nurses, doctors and orderlies. Meredith simply nodded as she continued to follow Lauren as she made her rounds around the surgery wing.

"Basically as a LPN you can do pretty much everything a RN does but under the direct supervision of either myself, another RN or a Doctor. By direct supervision I don't mean we need to be standing in the room with you, except for when you are administering medications, you just need to report to us. Are we clear?" Lauren turned to regard her, eyeing the young nurse before her in scrutiny, wondering if Meredith had what it took. Meredith straightened up and her expression hardened in determination. Lauren was taken aback. _'Hmmm, tough little thing.'_ She thought.

"All I need to know is where everything is, I am ready, I've been ready since I was eight years old." Meredith answered; confidently, she was rising to the challenge, all previous reservations gone. She was after all _born_ for this.

"Well alright then, supplies are over there." Lauren responded nodding and raising an eyebrow at the determined young girl before her as she pointed to the supply closet. "Charts are at the nurses station we just passed, I want you to do rounds, on all rooms on this floor. Monitor the patient's vitals, take blood pressure etc. Any inconsistencies that show up that are emergent, page the surgeon on the case, once you are done report back to me, ok?" Lauren ordered, putting hand on her hip casually. "Let's see what you are made of, Grey." She grinned before turning and walking away. Meredith moved to the nurses' station and gathered up the charts for the floor and got straight to work.

x x x

Richard led the newest group of bright-faced, surgery hungry interns into the OR, he turns around and faces them, regarding each and every face of the men and women before him, trying to ascertain the standouts, the underdogs, the inbred.

"Each of you comes here today hopeful, wanting in on the game. A month ago you were in med school being _taught_ by doctors. Today _you_ are the doctors. The seven years you spend here as a surgical resident will be the best and worst of your life. You will be pushed to the breaking point. Look around you, say hello to your competition. Eight of you will switch to an easier specialty, five of you will crack under the pressure, two of you will be asked to leave. This is your starting line, this is your arena. How well you play…that's up to you." Richard gave his well-rehearsed speech to yet another group of interns, for four years he had given this same speech to every group of new interns. This was _supposed_ to be the Chief's job, but Ginsberg always palmed it off to him, she would say to him that 'You have better people skills Richard, you inspire them.' But the truth is, and you wouldn't _ever_ catch Nora Ginsberg admitting this, but she thought interns were beneath her. Irony is they were _all_ interns at some point.

Dr Nora Ginsberg – a filthy hypocrite, not exactly news to him.

Derek, Addison, Mark, Naomi and Sam stared around the OR they were in, each excited, and yet equally terrified. All their hard work in college and med school had led them here today. This is where it all began; Derek could feel it in every fiber of his being. He followed his friends as Dr Webber led them out of the OR and back down to the Intern locker room.

Richard nodded at the raven-haired Latina resident tapping her foot, waiting impatiently for her new bunch of idiotic interns. Dr Gabriella Rodriquez was a force to be reckoned with, she was beautiful but petite, to the outsider she didn't pose much of a challenge, but as they say, looks can be _very_ deceiving and not to mention, it's the tiny ones you got to watch.

"Alright, lets get this show on the road I don't have all day, so listen up!" She called over the innate chatter of the interns. Her voice, stance, her aura commanded respect and immediately shut them all up.

"Hopkins, Gregory, Bennett, the male one, Montgomery. You are with Dr Morrison." She called, pointing them to their resident.

"Mostow, the other Bennett, Feldman, Steiner. You are with Dr Nalder." She called over the noise of the scuffling residents. Dr Nalder put up her hand so her interns could find her. Addison shot an apologetic look at Naomi, she just shrugged as if to say _it's not the end of the world_. Addison and Naomi had hoped to be assigned in the same group as one another.

"Sloan, Shepherd, Morgansen, Hayes. You are with Dr Manning." Gabriella called and pointed them to Greg, a burly third year resident.

"Damn it, I was hoping she'd be a chick." Mark cursed as they made their way over to Dr Manning.

"Why does the gender of our resident matter, exactly?" Derek quipped at him.

"I was hoping I could show her the…you know….'Sloan Method,' and get a surgery or two." He responded smoothly, wagging his eyebrows. Derek groaned.

"Do you _ever_ think about _anything_ other than sex?" Derek teased him, shaking his head.

"No." Mark answered automatically. Derek rolled his eyes. "What?" Mark asked, not understanding what could possibly wrong with always having sex on the brain.

"You know sometimes I wonder if all that anonymous vagina has addled your brains somehow." He mocked Mark, mercilessly.

"Well at least I'm not pussy whipped by one woman." Mark retorted.

"I am not pussy whipped and even if I was, at least I'm not a potential walking STD." Derek retorted back.

"I may sleep with a lot of women Derek, but I ain't stupid. No glove, no love, so to speak. Speaking of pussy whipping, though, Addison asked me to encourage you to hurry up and propose. She wants a ring on her finger man." Mark told him, cringing slightly, married and commitment were like two very foul words to Mark.

"We're not there yet." Derek said matter-of-factly as their resident gestured them to follow him.

"She seems to think you are." Mark deadpanned.

"Fine, _I'm_ not there yet." Derek conceded, defensively.

"You been dating her for three years, how are you _not_ there yet?" Mark whispered to Derek. Derek simply ignored him and paid attention to his resident instead.

"You are interns, you have no authority, you don't whine and you work every single hour of your shift until you drop. I expect you to perform the task I assign you diligently, because your failures become mine and _I_ don't like to fail. Basically, do your job right the first time and don't piss me off." Manning growled at his residents. The group all nodded or murmured that they understood. "Sloan, you are on sutures. Morgansen, I want you writing discharges." Manning ordered, Mark threw one knowingly look at Derek before hurrying off. "Hayes, charts." Manning growled as he thrust a stack of charts into Natalie's flustered hands. "Shepherd, you are with me." He gestured for Derek to follow him. Derek knew of this guy, Kathleen and Nancy had mentioned him a few times and _not_ in the politest of terms either; they both thought he was a first-class jackass. "This is Katherine Wagner, involved in a head on collision, she presented with massive internal bleeding from trauma to the abdomen, I operated on her late last night, I spent eight hours in the OR saving her life, and I want her to stay alive, _you_ will vigilantly monitor her and will page me if there are any issues, got it?" Manning challenged him as he thrust the patients chart into Derek's hands.

"Yes, sir." Derek responded, being careful to not allow the disdain for his resident creep into his voice. Manning took one last scrutinizing look and turned and walked away.

"Moron." Derek cursed under his breath.

"Calling your resident a moron," He heard a teasing voice from behind him and turned to see an attractive, young, honey-haired nurse raising an amused eyebrow at him. "Probably not the smartest move. You are lucky he didn't hear you." She smirked wryly as she entered Mrs Wagner's room. Meredith pulled her stethoscope from around her neck and listened to her heartbeat.

Derek found her enchanting. He entered the room and watched the nurse work, since technically she was already doing his job that Manning had assigned him.

"You just going to sit there and watch?" Meredith asked as she notated down the patients heart rate on the clipboard.

"Dr Manning assigned me to monitor her vitals, and your kind of already doing that." Derek offered as held his hand out for the clipboard so he could take a look at what she had written.

"Huh." She shrugged, taken aback. Then she chuckled. "Your resident assigned you a nurses job, you must be some intern eh?" She giggled, shaking her head as she checked the patients IV.

"Hey, I resent that, I _am_ good." Derek retorted back at her, grinning.

"Oh, ok…sure." Meredith teased him.

"Manning is a moron." Derek defended. Meredith rolled her eyes at him and placed a hand on her hip.

"I thought we just established it _wasn't _a good idea to call your resident a moron." Meredith joked sarcastically. "You know pissing off your resident is right up there with pissing off the nurses. Both are a bad move." Meredith said knowingly.

"True and I like nurses, without out you us Doctors would be screwed, but it just so happens I really _do_ know that Manning is a moron. My two older sisters work here." Derek explained.

"Oh, I'm not debating he _isn't _a moron, that much is clear, I'm just saying, don't let him hear _you_ say that." Meredith replied. She had heard Manning bark at them earlier, and being the daughter of Ellis Grey meant that Meredith had spent a good amount of time in the hospital to be able to tell which Doctors are _actually_ morons and Manning was definitely one of them.

"Derek Shepherd." Derek introduced himself, holding out his hand. Meredith took it with a good-natured smile and shook it.

"Meredith Grey." She introduced herself back.

"Grey, huh. Are you-" He began before she cut him off.

"Related to Ellis Grey. Yes, she is my mother." She finished his question and answered with a roll of the eyes and a bored tone.

"Ah, you get asked that a lot, sorry." He apologized. Meredith just shrugged it off and began changing Mrs Wagner's IV, since there seemed to be some irritation. "So question is, what is the child of a surgical great doing as a nurse, you'd think you'd follow in your Mom's footsteps." Derek quizzed her as he shut the chart closed and placed his pen into his lab coat front pocket.

"Oh…I am becoming a Doctor…a Surgeon…it's just, I wanted to work at the hospital while I went to college and my ah, high school offered a LPN program…so…you know I did it." Meredith rambled as she explained.

"Oh, well I guess that makes sense." Derek agreed, but he still couldn't quite understand why someone like Meredith would need to work while she was in College, surely her mother would pay for everything, why would she need to work? Then it dawned on him that she must be really passionate about medicine and he found that quite admirable. "So what year of college are you in?" Derek asked, quite interested in the beautiful blonde.

"It's my first year, I start in a couple of weeks at Bowdoin." Meredith answered as she focuses on inserting a new IV into Mrs Wagner.

"Bowdoin, huh, I went there, great college. So your nineteen, twenty?" He quizzed further, finding this urge to know as much as he could about her.

"You're awfully curious," She smirked wryly. "I'm nineteen." She finally answered as she reconnected the IV fluids. She was just about to leave when the alarms on the monitors went off. Derek noticed that her heart rate was going through the roof then it bottomed out.

"V-Fib." Meredith recognized immediately and she pushed the blue button on the wall behind the patient and immediately heart the PA system kick in.

'_Code Blue, fourth floor, code blue.'_

Meredith grabbed the backboard from behind the bed, Derek rolled her to her side and Meredith placed it under and Derek rolled Mrs Wagner onto it, Meredith began doing compressions on her chest, while Derek used the ambu bag to give her oxygen. The code team burst into the room with the crash cart. Meredith continued compressions while a nurse took over from Derek. Lauren manned the crash cart, handed Derek the paddles, gelled them up and Derek rubbed them together before placing them on Mrs Wagner's chest.

"Charge to 200." He ordered. "Clear." He called, the nurse pulled the ambu bag away as Derek sent a jolt of electricity though. Meredith glanced up at the monitor before continuing compressions.

"No change." Meredith acknowledged.

"Page Dr Manning." Derek called over his shoulder. "Let's push a round of Epi and charge to 260." Derek ordered, Meredith motioned for the orderly beside her to take over compressions; she grabbed the epi and pushed it.

"Clear." Derek called.

"Still no change." Lauren called.

"Up to 360." Derek called. Lauren charged immediately. "Clear!" He shouted.

"Nothing." Meredith shook her head.

"Damn it Mrs Wagner!" Derek cursed. "Charge again!" Derek ordered. Lauren charged. "Clear!" He called, agitated, angry. Not wanting to lose a patient on his first day as an intern.

"No change." Meredith said again as the orderly stepped in to do compressions again. Manning finally burst into the room.

"What the hell happened?" He growled to Derek.

"She just flat lined, her stats were fine, she was stable and then she wasn't." Derek explained in a flurry.

"I've got it, just go!" Manning dismissed him. Derek shuffled out of the room dejectedly, he knew what was going to happen next and heard it over his shoulder as he walked out of the room.

"Time of death 8:42 AM."

Derek felt helpless, a death on his very first day as an intern.

Meredith watched Derek's dejected form and felt the urge to follow him but was stopped by Lauren.

"You did good in there, Grey." She smiled, praising her.

"The patient is dead." Meredith responded, sighing.

"Yes, but you handled the situation very well, you were calm, you had it together. Look I don't know a lot about being a Doctor because I'm a nurse, but if you _were_ becoming a RN, you'd make a good one, so I think that says a lot about how good of a Surgeon you will be." She nodded, smiling.

"Thanks." Meredith smiled, feeling humbled by her bosses kind words.

"Go take a thirty minute break, get yourself a coffee, you've earned it." She grinned, giving her a wink before walking away to attend to her other duties for the day.

Meredith grinned to herself and made her way down to the lobby coffee cart.

"Mocha Latte, please." She told the barista.

"Coming right up." The barista smiled as she took Meredith's money. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Derek sitting on a bench outside the hospital.

"Here you go." The barista jolted her out of her stare. Meredith turned and took the hot beverage from her.

"Thanks." She thanked her gratefully and headed out the hospital and walked toward Derek. He looked up at her as noticed her presence and offered Meredith a weak smile and she offered one back and sat down beside him. Neither spoke for a few minutes.

"Her heart arrested twice in surgery, there was a lot of damage. You did everything right, there was nothing you could have done more." Meredith tried to console him; she could tell he was beating himself up over it. The truth is in the same situation Meredith would have too.

"You know, I wish I wanted to be a postal worker, I'm reliable." Derek sighed. Meredith chuckled, understanding completely. She knew the hard road ahead of her. "You know my Mom goes around bragging that I am a surgeon, like its this big massive accomplishment or something, which is weird because my two older sisters are doctors, one of my younger sisters is in med school about to become a doctor and my little sister is in college for pre-med, maybe she'll become one too, but she really brags about me, maybe its because I'm the only boy, but she brags like I'm this superhero or something. If _only_ she could see me now." He mused existentially.

Meredith shifted her body so she was slightly facing him, she was envious, she _wished_ she had his mother.

"When I told my mother I wanted to be a surgeon, she tried to talk me out of it. Said I didn't have what it took, that I'd _never_ make it. So from where I stand, superhero sounds pretty damn good." Meredith offered with a smile.

"I'll survive this, right?" Derek asked her, as he turned his head so he was looking at her directly.

"Believing that you'll survive is what _makes_ us survive Derek." Meredith answered with a silent promise, that _'yes, you'll be ok_.' Derek's expression changed into an analytical one. Just when he feels he has Meredith worked out, she surprises him further.

"You are nineteen years old, you should be more concerned with…I don't know, the color of your _nails_. How did you get to be so wise?" He asked her in wonderment.

"Life happened, and…uh…sometimes when it does you find yourself growing up…I don't know, faster than you should _ever_ have to." She explained in a ramble. Her ramble had quickly become his favorite thing about this girl.

"Yeah…yeah, that's something I understand too." Derek murmured, it truly was. His father had died, and suddenly he became the man of the house.

"It changes a person." Meredith murmured in agreement. Derek noticed a sadness in her beautiful blue-green eyes and he felt himself aching to take her into his arms and hold her. He could tell just be looking into her eyes, that whatever had made her grow up so fast, was something dark and painful.

He felt something shift inside him, and somehow without a shadow of a doubt, he _knew_ that life as he knew it would _never_ be the same.

"_Maybe Romeo and Juliet were fated to be together, but just for a while. And then their time passed. If they could have known that beforehand, maybe it all would have been okay."_

"_I told Mrs. Snyder that when I was grown up, I'd take fate into my own hands. I wouldn't let some guy drag me down. Mrs. Snyder said I'd be lucky if I ever had that kind of passion with someone. And that if I did, we'd be together forever."_

"_Even now, I believe that for the most part, love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending, most of the time. And that sometimes, despite all your best choices, and all your best intentions, fate wins anyway."_

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_**AN - This is the largest beginning chapter I have ever written. I really hope you all like it, hit the review button and let me know what you all think, I love comments especially those lovely people who take the time to really delve into the characters, I love analytical comments.**  
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_**Again I want to reiterate, I'm not a medical professional, so don't be critical, I try to be as authentic as possible and I do look somethings up. Also, it is possible to get LPN in high school, I read this online that some high schools do offer it, they just can't take the actual exam until they turn 18. For those who don't know what an LPN is, it is a Licensed Practical Nurse in the US, they are limited to what they can do, mostly its patient care, but can do alot of the things that a RN can but have to be supervised, it differs from state to state when it comes to medication administering and other things, I couldn't find what the laws are in NY, so I'm just going with it that what Meredith did in the chapter, she can do.  
**_

_**Mel  
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	2. Chapter Two: Gravity

**_AN: First off, I am super sorry for the seriously long months of delay. Life got really busy for me, uni is controlling my life lol. I don't write as well when I am stressed out so I always figure its better to wait it out then try to force myself to write._  
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**_So I thought I'd make a mention, I'm really impressed and amazed how right I am about my timeline, the first episode of season 9 confirmed my suspicions, well at least on Derek's side, how serendipitous is that?  
_**

**_Also, on a forum I post this on a member pointed out that students can graduate in the US at 17, so I decided to push Meredith's age to 18, I could have just made her in the second year of College, but I liked the idea of them both starting. I'll go back and make the changes to the first chapter later, for now, enjoy!  
_**

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**Chapter Two  
**_Gravity_

_"I wasn't raised with a silver spoon in my mouth…well that's not to say I didn't have the silver spoon, I do come from money, I lived in the nice house, had an allowance and a trust fund, but I was never doted upon. Better put, I was ignored. So from a young age I knew that if you wanted something bad enough, you had to be willing to fight for it. If you are going to sit there and wait for some mystical fate-like opportunity to come to you, you're probably going to end up disappointed. After all only we are the master's of our own destiny."_

_Two Months Earlier_

Acceptance letters laid before her, one from Dartmouth, another from Harvard and countless others, but there was only one that Meredith was focused on. Bowdoin. She tapped her fingers impatiently on the kitchen table, waiting for her mother to come home. She knew from a decade long of experience that her mother was never home on time, if _ever_. The hospital was her family, Meredith was just the inconvenience on the side or at least that's how Ellis made her feel.

The front door slammed, jarring Meredith from her thoughts. She heard the clicking of heels on the titled floors of the foyer. Any minute now she knew would have to face her mother.

Ellis hung up her jacket in the closet; weary from the forty-eight hours she had been on call, saving lives and losing some. She had fought for eight hours in the OR to save the life of a drunken driver. 'Stupid fool.' She inwardly cursed; he had died on her table. She wanted to save him just so he would have to live with the fact that his idiotic actions had cost a family their lives.

She slipped off her heels and made her way into the kitchen and halted at the sight of her daughter sitting quietly, staring at a whole heap of letters before her. She knew what they were; after all she had listened all day to Carrington bragging about his son getting into Harvard. Ellis had called Dartmouth earlier in the day to ensure that Meredith was accepted; truthfully Ellis believed that nobody would take her. It was no secret to Meredith that her mother believed she was unfocused and lacked discipline.

"You got into Dartmouth." Ellis broke the silence, speaking matter-of-factly.

"Yes, I did. I also got accepted to Harvard and Bowdoin." She responded meekly, a ghost of a smile playing at her lips. She knew this would surprise her. But it didn't, it was like Ellis wasn't even listening.

"Well obviously you accepted the Dartmouth off-"

"I don't _want_ to go to Dartmouth!" Meredith protested, cutting her mother off.

"Excuse me?" She turned to her, scoffing at her.

"I want to go to Bowdoin." Meredith affirmed, meeting her mother's glaring eyes for the first time, challenging her.

"And _why_ on earth would you do that! Dartmouth is an incredible university Meredith, you are lucky you even got accepted!" Ellis shouted at her incredulously.

"No I am _not_ lucky, I worked my ass off, which _you_ would know if you actually bothered to notice!" Meredith shot back angrily.

"My job keeps me busy, I save lives Meredith, my work is what is important, it is what puts food on your _ungrateful_ plate. My work is what _matters_. So excuse me if I don't have the time to keep up with your life, or coddle you like a pathetic child." Ellis growled at her. Meredith sucked in a breath, her words work like bullets. It was no different to anything she had said to her before. But it doesn't mean that it hurts her any less.

"So what, if you _weren't_ a surgeon you would pay attention to me!?" Meredith argued back in contempt. Her blue-green eyes shooting daggers of accusation to her mother. Ellis was taken aback, lost for words. She had no way to respond. Meredith scoffed at her mother's _sudden_ speechlessness. "_Exactly_. It wouldn't be _any_ different. Just admit it _mother_ you _never_ wanted me. You have absolutely _no_ interest in being my mother, you never did, and now it's too late and you are stuck with me!" She cried out to her, tears threatening to spill from her eyes, but she held them back, not wanting to cry in her presence.

"Your being ridiculous Meredith, if I didn't want you I would have let your fool of a father take you with him!" Ellis denied swiftly. Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, right. You have a funny way of showing it." Meredith frowned at her, not believing her at all.

"Look." Ellis sighed, as she sat down in the chair at the opposite end of the table. "Dartmouth is a good university for you, if you-"

"_Why_ is it a good university for _me_, as opposed to a good university?" Meredith frowned, as she leant back in her chair. Ellis just rolled her eyes at her, thinking Meredith was just being completely unreasonable and ridiculous. It suddenly dawned on Meredith. "You want me to go there because _you_ went there and because you have contacts, so that if lord forbid I embarrass you in some way and tarnish your precious name you can _'control the narrative.'_" She accused Ellis, standing up from her chair angrily.

"You are being ridiculous Meredith. Dartmouth is a _far_ superior university than Bowdoin and I won't pay for you to go to a less than exemplary university!" Ellis argued, putting her foot down.

"I don't _want_ to go to Dartmouth. I don't want to go somewhere _you_ went so I can be squashed by your suffocating legacy! I want to stand on my own two feet and prove that I am _so_ much more than the daughter of Ellis Grey. I want to be _great_, I want to be an extraordinary surgeon and _I_ want to do that without you overshadowing me!" Meredith ranted, exasperated.

"You don't have what it takes to _be_ a surgeon Meredith, you'll _never_ make it. You are too unfocused and-"

"Ordinary, yeah got it." Meredith cut her off sarcastically. "_You_ may not think that I have what it takes, but I know _I_ do, so please, I've never asked you for anything, just please let me have the opportunity to try and do it on my own terms?" Meredith pleaded. She wanted this she wanted this so bad. Ellis stared at her fiercely determined daughter and smiled inwardly. '_Perhaps she does_.' She thought to herself. Ellis sighed deeply.

"Fine." She conceded. She was by no means happy about it.

"Fine." Meredith repeated, not quite believing she was actually giving way to her demands. Truthfully, Meredith was waiting for her mother to basically disown her, cut her off if she _dared_ to defy her.

"You can go, and I _will_ pay for your education as originally planned, but I _won't_ pay for your lifestyle, Meredith." Ellis conceded, still not overly happy with the idea.

"Lifestyle?" Meredith asked, confused.

"I'll pay for your education but I _won't _pay for your living expenses. You want to move to New York, and attend Bowdoin you need to get a job, find your own apartment, and pay your own rent and your food expenses. But I'm warning you Meredith, if you screw this up, I will cut you off entirely." Ellis warned before getting up and walking out of the room without another word.

_Present Day_

Derek and Addison were sitting at a small dinner table in a five-star Italian restaurant. Addison was babbling on animatedly about something and Derek was…somewhat preoccupied. All he could see was Addison's mouth moving, but all he heard was white noise.

He couldn't focus, because all he could thing about was _her_ and he knew that was wrong, since he was _very_ much in a committed relationship. Derek wasn't an unfaithful person, it went against his beliefs to _be_ that guy, but he felt like that the very omission of his thoughts, he was cheating on Addison.

"Derek?!" Addison asked, jerking him out of his reverie.

"What?" Derek asked, feeling a little guilty for not paying attention to his girlfriend.

"Did you hear a word I just said?" Addison asked crossing her arms in front of her, quite put out at Derek's lack of attention tonight.

"Uhhh…Sorry Addie, I'm just tired." Derek mumbled, apologetically. "Actually are you almost done, I can barely think straight I'm so exhausted." Derek lied almost effortlessly. That bothered him, just how easily he could lie to his girlfriend like that.

"Ahh, sure. Are you ok?" Addison asked, concerned. She was tired, but she was still with it.

"Yeah I'm fine, just didn't sleep well in the on-call room last night." Derek placated her.

"Yeah, those beds are awful, mines better, want to go back to my place?" She asked, smirking wryly.

"Maybe another time, I think I just need a night alone in my own bed." Derek smiled. Addison was taken aback, winded by the sudden rejection. This was a first. "Come on, I'll drive you home." He murmured placing some bills to pay for their meal and stood up holding his hand out to her. Addison took it, albeit in dazed confusion as she tried to understand Derek's strange behavior tonight.

She could hear it in the back of her mind that something had changed for him, but she quickly pushed it away and smiled up at him as he led her to his car.

x x x

She was late. She was _so_ late, she had over slept, between her shifts at NewYork-Presbyterian and now college on top she was definitely feeling the pressure and it was only week one of College.

So Meredith shuffled as fast as she could her book bag swinging beside her as she navigated through the Bowdoin campus to her lecture. She sighed in relief as she found the lecture hall and quietly opened the door tip-toeing in. The lecture had already begun, but thankfully her Professor didn't acknowledge her, he just kept talking. She scanned the room for a spare seat as she climbed the stairs. A blue-eyed, raven-haired girl offered a small friendly smile and moved her book bag off the seat next to her for Meredith to sit down. Meredith smiled gratefully back at her and sat down, quickly rifling through her bag to bring out a pen and a notebook.

"Don't worry, I was late too." The raven-haired girl leant toward her, whispering. "I'm Amelia." She murmured, holding out her hand for Meredith to shake.

"Meredith." She said shaking Amelia's hand quickly. "So what did I miss?" She whispers to her.

"Nothing much, he's mostly been going on and on about his boring career…like anyone _really_ cares he published an important research paper ten years ago." Amelia responded, obviously bored. "On the upside, he's mildly entertaining, I mean look at him." She gestured with her hand to him down on the podium and Meredith immediately suppressed a giggle. He was so _awkward._ "I don't think he _knows_ how much of a parody he is to himself." Amelia quietly giggled. Meredith shook her head in amusement as they both watched him drop the notes he had in his hand and then as he fumbled trying to pick them all up. Everyone around them was trying not to laugh.

"I don't think he's _ever_ been laid." Meredith's eyes brimmed with amusement. Amelia snorted in response before they both sat back and tried to concentrate on what the poor guy was saying.

Meredith's page remained blank, Fordson hadn't told Meredith anything she didn't already know, the lecture was a waste of time for her…well not completely, and Amelia had proven to be quite entertaining. But still, she was relieved when it was over.

"Hey, you want to get a coffee with me?" Amelia asked as they filed out of the lecture hall.

"Sure, I could use the caffeine." Meredith agreed gratefully as they walked outside toward the coffee cart stationed in the courtyard.

"So, I'm assuming you are pre-med right?" Amelia asked, making conversation.

"Yeah, you?" She responded.

"Yeah, surgery, what area are you hoping to get into?" She passionately answered, Meredith smiled inwardly, it was nice to know someone who shared the same level of passion she had.

"There are other specialties?" Meredith responded seriously, raising an eyebrow before smirking. "I'm not going to spend eight years of my life getting my MD then residency, only to become a Doctor who puts Band-Aids on morons who don't have the _balls_ to get _real_ injuries." She said sarcastically. Amelia chuckled.

"Agreed." Amelia agreed. "Although, I think my brothers and sisters don't think I can do it." Amelia murmured, becoming very serious. Meredith could detect the pain in her voice. She knew how it felt to have a family member doubt you.

"Why?" Meredith asked as she turned to the coffee attendant. "Latte?" Meredith asked Amelia. Amelia simply nodded and sat down at the chair situated under a tree beside a few paces away from her. "Two latte's please." She asked, paying the Barista. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Amelia staring blankly at nothing in particular.

"Here you go." The Barista smiled warmly at Meredith and handed her the steaming coffees. Meredith smiled in return and went to join Amelia. She handed her one, and she smiled up at Meredith gratefully.

"I'm the black sheep of the family." Amelia began to explain without any prompting from Meredith. "I got into some trouble after my Dad died, drugs, prescription mostly, and ever since then, it just _feels_ like they are waiting for me to screw it all up." She explained. "I guess in a way it makes me fight harder to prove them wrong." She shrugs, brightening up again, as if saying that made her realize again not to let it get to her.

"I get that, it's the same with my mother." Meredith responded turning to ward her, as she took a sip of her coffee.

"Is she a surgeon?" Amelia inquired.

"Yes, she's _the_ surgeon." Meredith responded dryly. Confusion swept across Amelia's face, not quite understanding what Meredith meant.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"My mother is Ellis Grey." Meredith said, distaste creeping into her tone. Amelia was immediately taken aback. She wasn't expecting that.

"Wow, talk about pressure!" She answered, exasperated, awe struck.

"You have no idea." Meredith muttered. She expected the flow of questions to come, but they didn't.

"I have three older sisters and an older brother. My two eldest sisters are Doctors, Nancy is an OB/GYN and Kathleen is a Psychiatrist. The other sister Natalie is in her second year of Med School and my brother Derek is a first year surgical intern at NewYork-Pres." Amelia said, launching into explaining the dynamics of her family. The description of her brother Derek resonated with the Derek she _knew_.

"Is your last name Shepherd?" Meredith asked. _'How coincidental_.' She thought.

"Yeah, how did you know that?" A frown crossed her features as she remembered she had not introduced herself to Meredith with her surname.

"I think I know your brother, I work at NewYork Pres as a nurse. I met him on his and my first day." She explained. Amelia grinned in wonderment.

"Black messy hair, blue eyes, tall goes out with a red-headed intern named Addison." Describing her brother and Meredith nodded at each point. "Wow, small world!" She laughed. "Wait you're a nurse, how did you manage that?" She grilled her for details.

"My high school offered an LPN program and I thought it would be kind of cool to work in a hospital while I complete College and Med School." Meredith shrugged non-committedly.

"Wow, talk about dedication." She nudged Meredith, her head still reeling from the fact that she knew her brother.

"Or plain stupidity, I'm exhausted!" Meredith groaned.

"Practice for being interns." Amelia pointed out.

"True." She conceded.

"Oh, a couple of friends and I are going to a party at one of the dorms on Friday night, you should come with if your not working." Amelia said as she wrote her mobile number on a piece of paper and handed it to Meredith.

"I'm working during the day, but sure, yeah I'm up for it." She shrugged, a night out of dancing and a bottle of Jose Cuero sounded good to her. She scribbled down her mobile number for Amelia as well.

"Awesome, I'll text you, we'll probably do pre-drinks at a friends place. I'll text you later in the week the address when I know." She said pulling her book bag on her shoulder. "I gotta go, promised Ma I'd have dinner with her tonight, say hello to my jerk of a brother for me, you'll probably see him before I ever do." She grinned giving Meredith a wink as she retreated toward the car park.

Meredith thought she had spunk, she was as dark and twisted as she was and that was comforting to her.

x x x

That night alone so he could sleep…that didn't exactly happen. Derek had tossed and turned all night, he'd never been so unsure in his _entire_ life. He had _always_ been the most decisive in his family, the _most_ responsible, and honorable even. But this…this he couldn't figure out.

He raked a hand through his hair in frustration as he leant against the back of the vacant elevator. He heard a ping, announcing the arrival of the elevator to a floor, then the doors opened, he glanced up and noticed it was a nurse by the colour of her scrubs, his eyes then trailed up to his face...and it was like his breath left him. It was Meredith. She wasn't paying attention, her back to him, staring down at her phone and fiddling with it.

"Hey." Derek murmured in greeting. Meredith glanced behind her at Derek and her face broke into a friendly smile.

"Hi." She greeted back, before turning back toward the elevator doors, she glanced up and watched the lights signaling the elevator passing each floor.

"So…?" Derek drawled, a smirk on his face. He felt _almost _better in her presence, like there was this light switch inside him that only turned on when she was in the room.

"So…I…ah, met your sister yesterday." Meredith offered, leaning up against the back of the elevator beside him.

"Really, which one?" He asked, mildly surprised at her proclamation.

"Amelia. We had a class together." She answered, she couldn't take the grin off her face.

"You did." He stated wryly, as the ping of the elevator sounded and the doors opened.

"I did." She said, cocking her head to the side before pushing off the wall of the elevator heading out the door, she then stopped abruptly and turned back. "Oh, she told me to tell _you_, hi. In fact her _exact_ words were 'Say hello to my jerk of a brother for me, you'll probably see him before I ever do.'" She winked, before turning and walking away.

Derek chuckled, shaking his head and walking out of the elevator, heading in the opposite direction. Spotting Mark sitting behind the nurse's station he headed toward him.

"Morning." Derek greeted as grabbed Mr Folger's chart from the rack. Mark just raised his eyebrows in response.

"So…who's the hot nurse?" Mark winked.

"Don't even go there, she's _way_ out of your league." Derek responded dryly.

"Why do _you_ care?" Mark responded, noticing Derek was _almost_ defensive.

"I don't, she's just one of my sister's friends and you are _not_ going to sleep with one of Amy's friends." Derek warned him.

"Since when has that stopped me?" Mark teased, wagging his eyebrows.

"Stay away from her!" Derek snapped at him, fury raging like a fire within the depths of his body.

"Woah dude, chill, I _won't_ do anything." Mark said warily, putting his hands up in defense.

"_Don't_ do anything!" Derek warned one last time before turning on his heel and heading toward Mr Folger's room leaving a stunned Mark behind.

x x x

Meredith hauled her tired body onto a bed down in the basement. This had become her hiding place; whenever she needed a moment to herself during breaks it had proved to be very peaceful. Today, however, she was eating her salad on her lunch break while trying to study for her weekly quiz for Fordson's class.

She felt the bed dip beside her and the sound of squeaky springs of the mattress. She turned her head and it was Derek.

"And here I thought I was the only one who _knew_ about this place." Derek murmured, tiredly.

"Me too." Meredith agreed. She noticed Derek looked very distracted. "You ok?" She asked, concern lacing her voice.

"Mmm…Yeah…I don't know." Derek groaned as he slumped against the wall behind him. Meredith turned to her side and crossed her legs Indian style.

"Well I'm a good vault." Meredith offered a small smile, telling him if he wanted to talk she'd listen.

"I have a girlfriend, you know?" He asked her, not sure if she knew that piece of information. Meredith simply rolled her eyes, sarcastically.

"Oh the red headed intern that looks like Isabella freaking Rossellini, oh _no_, I didn't know about that." She mocked him, and then let out a chuckle, shaking her head. She knew he had _no_ concept of how he was the envy of all men and that every woman _hated_ Addison for the simple fact that she was stunningly attractive _and_ she was dating Derek who they all considered as drop-dead, heart stopping gorgeous. Even Meredith recognized it.

"Well yeah, we've been together for four years or so, and well she's expecting me to propose, and I _know_ that's the next logical step, it's what people _expect_ me to do…but I don't know-"

"You don't know if _you_ want to spend the rest of your life with her." Meredith surmised. Derek simply nodded. "Do you love her?" She asked, unconsciously holding her breath in anticipation of his answer.

"Yes, I do. But…I don't know. I just…look my Mom and Dad were _madly_ in love with one another, and I've always wanted that. I don't know if I feel that for her. I know I don't want to hurt her; it would _kill_ me to hurt her. I don't know…I just don't know." Derek tried to explain, but he didn't know, he needed clarity.

"Well I don't know much, the one marriage modeled to me was my parents and it didn't work out. But I think that marriage is hard, even when it is easy. You don't get married because it's the logical thing to do _or_ because it's what people expect of you. You get married because you love each other, and sometimes even that isn't enough, but anything less than that is pretty much destined to blow up in your face." She responded seriously as she leant her head against the wall.

"I agree with that, I just don't know what _I_ want." He murmured in frustration.

"I think you _do_ know, Derek, you're just afraid of hurting someone." She whispered emphatically. She had hit the nail on the head, Derek knew it right then and there.

"Yes, but-"

"And that's precisely your problem, the more you try to not hurt anyone, the _more_ you hurt them. The right thing to do is generally the thing that hurts the person the most initially, _but_ hurts them less in the long run." She said, cutting him off before he could make any excuses. He sighed deeply.

"That isn't making this any easier." Derek moaned, placing his head in his hands. Meredith put her hand on Derek's shoulder and rubbed soothingly.

"Nothing is _ever_ easy." She whispered, shuffling on the bed so she was sitting beside him, her shoulder pressed to his, Derek lifted his head from his hands and turned his head to face Meredith, he then took her hand and clasped it in his. He eyed her lips and then shifted back to her eyes. It was like gravity pulling him in as his head inched closer to her.

_"For the most part, I still believe we control our own destiny, but maybe Mrs Snyder was right, maybe some things are just out of our control. Don't get me wrong, I still believe that love, like life, are about the choices we make. But I'm starting to believe that we don't get to choose who we fall in love with. It's a lot like gravity, I suppose. There's this invisible force that just draws two people together, no matter how hard you fight it, it never lets go and once its got a hold on you, it changes your life forever."_

* * *

_**AN: I do hope you all felt that was worth the wait, things are already set in motion. ;)**  
_


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